Cerveza Costa Rica

hello readers. (we have readers right?)

I'm planning to be your local beer and booze insider while traveling the globe. I like beer. no. i love beer. It is an art form and should be appreciated as so. Not as fizzy yellow crap you drank in undergrad. In fact, I'm breaking an agreement i made with my girlfriend to not talk about beer for 4 days to write this post.

That being said... La cerveza Costa Rica!

Upon my recent trip to Costa Rica, I was excited to find they have a rather impressive beer selection to offer. And it's cheap!

Don't think since we're in central america this is a kin to the beers of mexico that go great on a beach with a lime. These are serious beers, albeit all lagers.

The stand out champion and price of Costa Rican beer is definitely Imperial. It probably is even more accessible and visible in costa rica then any of the major breweries in america, and there fore i admittedly was turned off at first. Once I had one tho, i realized this was a large lager worth being proud of. Lucky for you, they recently sealed a deal to export to most of north america and australia. If you find yourself in a heavily latin area soon, definitely check it out. Plus, it looks cool.

From here Costa Rican beer gets a little.. less exciting. Pilsen (not pictured) is a lager that does seem to lend a little bit of spirit to the mexican beers mentioned above, and it kind of boring. The Bavarian brand has both a "premium" light lager, and a dark lager. However, if you were blindfolded folded, you'd have no idea which you were drinking, because they taste like nothing.

You'd think that beer that tastes like nothing would be pretty bad. Unfortunately it gets worse. The Rock Ice franchise goes above and beyond anything you ever thought beer should do. unfortunately, they shouldn't have. The Rock Ice flagship is a extremely bland and skunky lager that only seems good due to being the least of all evils. Rock Ice makes an "energy beer", however you have to be able to read japanesse to know this, because the label on the "energy beer" is in japanesse? This isn't sparks, this isn't malt liquor. It is really bad redbull, with a warm Old Style for a chaser. This will only give you energy because you were so grossed out you experienced an adrenaline rush. As bad as this sounds, it gets worse. Rock Ice makes a "lime beer". Again, this isn't what it seems. It's not a beer with lime, like miller chill. This is a beer that is supposed to taste like lime. An important side note right now, is to mention Costa rica has several different types of limes, and even their lime we consider standard here, is orange on the inside. That being said... this beer doesn't taste like any of them. This beer actually tastes like you swallowed a mouth full of sea water... The worst sea water you've ever had. STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS!!

Another great canned beverage option for adult in Costa Rica, is a competitive market for pre mixed Rum and Cola. However, curiously enough, the two biggest brands are made by the same company. These would be Bamboo, and Cuba Libre. Based on packaging alone, one would suggest bamboo is for the kids (above 18 of course) and cuba libre is for old men (but this writer suggests not old men who went to vietnam, reasons to follow).

Bamboo is definitely the less impressive of the lot. sweet, syrupy, definitely much more soda, but with an after tastes that isn't quite rum, but you know burns a little. Suitable when in a pinch, but, definitely not my go to.

Cuba Libre on the other hand, is not fucking around. You can smell the rum from the first crack of the can. The mix is a little strong, but this actually tastes like a Rum and Cola... or as much as a canned pre mixed rum and cola can. But reader beware, I'm pretty sure they are using the original coke formula in this drink, if ya know what i mean. One night specifically, after a pretty lazy day around La Fortuna, we decided to grab dinner across the street. i ordered a single cuba libra with dinner, and by the end of dinner, I swore the room was spinning around me, and my perception of color was overly saturated. I guess for roughly $2 US, I shouldn't complain.

In all, i hope you find this useful, and are lucky enough to find one of these fine products in a store near you, or better yet take a trip to costa rica yourself. if you choose the later, you will be fortunate enough to discover the ever elusive (and gov't made) GUARO!

The Colorado Highway System Can Suck It.

I can say this because this is the second time this year I have been trapped on a highway this year and today it wasn't even snowing.

Time of Departure from Glenwood Springs, CO: approx. 5:30 pm

Planned Arrival: 8 PM, Downtown Denver

Time of Return to Glenwood Springs, CO: 11:00 pm

Time in car total: 5.5 Hours

Total distance traveled: 82 miles

Avg Miles per hour: 14.9

Route: Interstate 70

Area of Entrapment: Mile Marker 153 to 157, Eagle County, Colorado

Honestly, it's one thing if it's ski season and it's a Sunday afternoon/evening. Everyone knows that from November to April this traffic equation is always true:

Sunday evening + SUV + California license plates + precipitation = Sitting on I-70 for hours.
(Give or take precipitation) (Also SUV = pick up truck; California license plates = Texas license plates)

It comes as a surprise to me that apparently the equation can simply be reduced to:

Sunday evening = Sitting on I-70 for hours.

I know this is technically MY fault for not thinking to check the traffic on this perfectly sunny July day. After being unwillingly trapped in Eagle County, Colorado I can't help but feel a bit of a kinderance with Kobe Bryant's groupies so let's quit the victim blaming, deal?

There were many things that helped me through this nearly traumatic time and if you ever plan to travel along I-70 I suggest you bring these along:
cold leftover sesame chicken, 1 half a bottle of old water, music from the Knife, a paperback NY Times Best Selling Novel (My Sister's Keeper, was my goodie), a dying cell-phone (the dying helps the dramatic effect), a snide thing to think about every driver around you and this travel quote from modern-day philosopher Jimmy Buffett, "You can throw your luggage down, lose your cool and stomp around but there's nothing, nothing you can do."

But seriously 5+ hours? There has got to be a better method, perhaps a sign near the entrance to I-70, even a hand written one that reads "I wouldn't go this way, buddy!" would have been good enough for me.

And finally the photo that killed my phone battery, which also turned out to be much less dramatic than I had hoped it would be:

A Side of Meat, Bitte

For a perfectly traditional Swabian dinner go to Stuttgarter Staeffele, in Stuttgart Germany, that's an order.

They had an amazing appetizer garden salad that came with potatoes hiding under the other vegtables, jackpot! The only thing that kept me from eating all of the salad was the knowledge of what was to come (this was my second glorious visit). Feel free to order the potato cakes with homemade applesauce for an appetizer, the Germans may laugh at you and tell you it's a dessert but if you don't eat it first there is no way you'll be able to at the end of the meal. That's thinking ahead, meine Fruenden.

Do yourself a favor and order the a bit of it all platter (loosely translated). It's gigantic and completely worth it. It's delicious pork, beef, sausage, spaetzle, potatoes and probably more that I can't remember because my mouth is watering and stealing liquid from the area around my brain.

The traditional red wine is served in a short glass mug and is very potent as the people in the car who had to listen to my Enrique Iglesias renditions for thirty minutes would testify to, weeee!


This place is great because the food is face-stuffing good, the place is tiny and feels like an old wine cellar and best of all I walked by the kitchen and who was cooking? A round, old, German lady! That's authenticity!

Touristing it Right, London

Again, I'm a huge fan of kitschy, cheesy, tourist attractions. Here I present my London essentials (not all are cheesy):

1. Tour on the Red Bus.

This is great for your first day in the city so you can get your bearings, see the sights from a distance thus making it much easier to decide where to spend the rest of your time. Parents like it too, see...

2. St. Paul's Cathedral

It's expensive, it's crowded and you can't take pictures inside but a hike to the top of 500+ steps will give you amazing views of the city. Also test out the whispering wall during the first leg of the accent. My brother said it worked but he may have just been humoring me.





3. Harry Potter, nerd points points of interest

Kings Cross Station, where they have actually set up a place for all of us sad people to go to and get photo proof of our nerdom. What place you say? Platform 9 3/4, if you asked you obviously don't know.

A walk across Millennium Bridge, which is very close to St. Paul's, will allow you to get giddy like "my friend" did when you see it get destroyed in the Half-Blood Prince movie.


4. Kew Gardens

A leisurely Underground ride and a short walk from the center of London. This place is a huge botanical gardens with outdoor and indoor gardens, old royal manors and expansive lands. If you've ever imagined yourself a member of Victorian royalty this is the perfect place to daydream (Prince Charming not included). Take some sandwiches and have yourself a picnic or go late for their summer concert series.

English Food isn't bad...

just expensive and not exactly English.

Exhibit A:
Cote Bistro, French









Grilled Artichoke

Roast Duck Breast with Gratin Potatoes



We found this place just wandering around starving and such. What a happy surprise. The artichoke was on the specials menu and the duck is on the regular menu. Both were exceptional, as were the two bottles of wine, don't worry we still found our way back to the hotel. This method of wandering while hungry only worked out this well once, I suggest other methods of finding food. We went the to location in Kensington but luckily it is a London chain and has many locations throughout and outside of the city.

Exhibit B:
Ping Pong, Dim Sum

I have never had dim sum before, at all, so I don't have a point of comparison but I thought it was really delicious. I have, however, had a few cocktails before and can say quite confidently that their drinks were like nothing I've ever had before. The first was the Lemongrass and Lime made with Finlandia vodka, fresh lemongrass, lime and lychee juice, really tasty. The other drink that we attempted is called a Tennessee Tea Tingle the description for this reads "Jack Daniels, Cointreau and lemon juice topped up with Pepsi. Enjoy the electric feeling from the Sechuan buds!!!" Let me tell you, while the Whiskey may come from Tennessee I'm not sure the Sechuan buds would be legal there. After chomping one down and having my mouth tingle, burn then go numb we asked the waitress about these "Sechuan buds." The only information she had was that they come from Amsterdam, enough said. That's my younger brother up there, double fisting like a champ.

We ordered a lot of Dim Sum the list is: chicken puff, spinach and mushroom dumpling, spinach and prawn wrap, chicken and cashew nut dumpling, vegetable bun, chicken and black pepper spring roll, lemon chicken, honey glazed ribs, and crispy asparagus. I must say, I did crinkle my nose at the steamed vegetable bun but I take it back it was great, I recommend it, that's right, I just recommended something with vegetables.

Ping Pong, like Cote, has numerous locations, making these eateries easy to fit into your sightseeing schedule.