What's with the peas?

No seriously.

So I'm on a quest, a quest for tasty really cliche"Mexican" food in my neighborhood (that being Uptown/Capital Hill, Denver). I will never claim to be a good Mexican food critic. While I did eat amazing food in Mexico it didn't stop me from loving the taco/refried beans/rice combo platters upon my return. Also I am a giant wuss and my nose runs at the sight, yes the sight, of spicy food.

I have frequented Las Delicas in Uptown quite a few times and have never really been impressed.

Last night I gave a new place a try. Benny's on 7th and Grant. I ordered the Tamale Dinner (Two pork tamales smothered with chili verde, refried beans and rice). This is where the peas come in. You know I just don't understand why Spanish rice sometimes has peas in it. Granted I think peas are absolutely disgusting, in any form, but they look even worse, if possible, in that rice. I've never heard someone get rice without the peas and exclaim, "WTF, where are the peas?!" So, I don't think anyone would miss them, even if they are insane enough to like them. They look gross. Have they been frozen and heated up multiple times? Where do those odd dimples come from? Traumatic shipping? Too much botox? This is something I'll never get over and it transcends into other food types, see: fried rice. I will move on, unwillingly.

The tamales were fine. The refried beans were good, so refried that there was little hint of bean texture. I'm not saying that's classy but I am saying that's how I like it, liquid bean with cheese, yum. The bits of rice that I got while picking around the peas were fair as well. The best was the chili verde. I wanted more of it. I wanted to make a soup of chilie verde and refried bean liquid. I could die happy. Granted, the chili is probably too mild for the spicy fan but it did come with actual chunks of green chilies and I accidentally put one in my mouth and much to the embarrassment of my dinner companion had to spit it back out, that or suffer death by mouth burn. Luckily this guy didn't see me shaming my state like that as he walked inside. If I lived in California I could make some not so clever remark here like "I'll be back, to Benny's" but alas, perhaps I'll just ride my bike there again soon without any well known tag line.

This is only the food I admit to

So I just got back from a 12 day trip to the east coast - York PA, Baltimore, DC, Richmond VA. Below is what I came up with. You have to click on the facebook link, cause there's no way I'm redoing all that.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2442146&id=10209802&ref=mf

Anyway, amidst all the wedding stuff in there are some really good restaurants. Coomb's was okay, but Las Placitas in Eastern Market in DC was really good. Full Kee in Chinatown was also good, if a little lacking in the ambiance and feel. Check it out.

Hats in the Highlands, I mean Ice Cream.

Hold on to your Hats!

I found something I like, in the Highlands (of Denver that is!). Yes, it's okay to gasp now.

Mmmmm Ice Cream. Bicycle rides to ice cream. Served out of a giant milk can. Served by people wearing silly paper hats of the ol' days. A discussion decided that people are just nicer when wearing those funny paper hats. Then I decided that anyone who has to take a court ordered anger management class should be forced to wear paper hats everywhere, I'd like to see someone being an ass in a hat like that, haha an asshat!

Anyway, it's called Little Man Ice Cream. It made me feel like I was doing something summer-y, perhaps on a boardwalk. The Cupcake ice cream was tasty as were the extra sprinkles. The summer night was lovely. The hats were the tops.

Cerveza Costa Rica

hello readers. (we have readers right?)

I'm planning to be your local beer and booze insider while traveling the globe. I like beer. no. i love beer. It is an art form and should be appreciated as so. Not as fizzy yellow crap you drank in undergrad. In fact, I'm breaking an agreement i made with my girlfriend to not talk about beer for 4 days to write this post.

That being said... La cerveza Costa Rica!

Upon my recent trip to Costa Rica, I was excited to find they have a rather impressive beer selection to offer. And it's cheap!

Don't think since we're in central america this is a kin to the beers of mexico that go great on a beach with a lime. These are serious beers, albeit all lagers.

The stand out champion and price of Costa Rican beer is definitely Imperial. It probably is even more accessible and visible in costa rica then any of the major breweries in america, and there fore i admittedly was turned off at first. Once I had one tho, i realized this was a large lager worth being proud of. Lucky for you, they recently sealed a deal to export to most of north america and australia. If you find yourself in a heavily latin area soon, definitely check it out. Plus, it looks cool.

From here Costa Rican beer gets a little.. less exciting. Pilsen (not pictured) is a lager that does seem to lend a little bit of spirit to the mexican beers mentioned above, and it kind of boring. The Bavarian brand has both a "premium" light lager, and a dark lager. However, if you were blindfolded folded, you'd have no idea which you were drinking, because they taste like nothing.

You'd think that beer that tastes like nothing would be pretty bad. Unfortunately it gets worse. The Rock Ice franchise goes above and beyond anything you ever thought beer should do. unfortunately, they shouldn't have. The Rock Ice flagship is a extremely bland and skunky lager that only seems good due to being the least of all evils. Rock Ice makes an "energy beer", however you have to be able to read japanesse to know this, because the label on the "energy beer" is in japanesse? This isn't sparks, this isn't malt liquor. It is really bad redbull, with a warm Old Style for a chaser. This will only give you energy because you were so grossed out you experienced an adrenaline rush. As bad as this sounds, it gets worse. Rock Ice makes a "lime beer". Again, this isn't what it seems. It's not a beer with lime, like miller chill. This is a beer that is supposed to taste like lime. An important side note right now, is to mention Costa rica has several different types of limes, and even their lime we consider standard here, is orange on the inside. That being said... this beer doesn't taste like any of them. This beer actually tastes like you swallowed a mouth full of sea water... The worst sea water you've ever had. STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS!!

Another great canned beverage option for adult in Costa Rica, is a competitive market for pre mixed Rum and Cola. However, curiously enough, the two biggest brands are made by the same company. These would be Bamboo, and Cuba Libre. Based on packaging alone, one would suggest bamboo is for the kids (above 18 of course) and cuba libre is for old men (but this writer suggests not old men who went to vietnam, reasons to follow).

Bamboo is definitely the less impressive of the lot. sweet, syrupy, definitely much more soda, but with an after tastes that isn't quite rum, but you know burns a little. Suitable when in a pinch, but, definitely not my go to.

Cuba Libre on the other hand, is not fucking around. You can smell the rum from the first crack of the can. The mix is a little strong, but this actually tastes like a Rum and Cola... or as much as a canned pre mixed rum and cola can. But reader beware, I'm pretty sure they are using the original coke formula in this drink, if ya know what i mean. One night specifically, after a pretty lazy day around La Fortuna, we decided to grab dinner across the street. i ordered a single cuba libra with dinner, and by the end of dinner, I swore the room was spinning around me, and my perception of color was overly saturated. I guess for roughly $2 US, I shouldn't complain.

In all, i hope you find this useful, and are lucky enough to find one of these fine products in a store near you, or better yet take a trip to costa rica yourself. if you choose the later, you will be fortunate enough to discover the ever elusive (and gov't made) GUARO!

The Colorado Highway System Can Suck It.

I can say this because this is the second time this year I have been trapped on a highway this year and today it wasn't even snowing.

Time of Departure from Glenwood Springs, CO: approx. 5:30 pm

Planned Arrival: 8 PM, Downtown Denver

Time of Return to Glenwood Springs, CO: 11:00 pm

Time in car total: 5.5 Hours

Total distance traveled: 82 miles

Avg Miles per hour: 14.9

Route: Interstate 70

Area of Entrapment: Mile Marker 153 to 157, Eagle County, Colorado

Honestly, it's one thing if it's ski season and it's a Sunday afternoon/evening. Everyone knows that from November to April this traffic equation is always true:

Sunday evening + SUV + California license plates + precipitation = Sitting on I-70 for hours.
(Give or take precipitation) (Also SUV = pick up truck; California license plates = Texas license plates)

It comes as a surprise to me that apparently the equation can simply be reduced to:

Sunday evening = Sitting on I-70 for hours.

I know this is technically MY fault for not thinking to check the traffic on this perfectly sunny July day. After being unwillingly trapped in Eagle County, Colorado I can't help but feel a bit of a kinderance with Kobe Bryant's groupies so let's quit the victim blaming, deal?

There were many things that helped me through this nearly traumatic time and if you ever plan to travel along I-70 I suggest you bring these along:
cold leftover sesame chicken, 1 half a bottle of old water, music from the Knife, a paperback NY Times Best Selling Novel (My Sister's Keeper, was my goodie), a dying cell-phone (the dying helps the dramatic effect), a snide thing to think about every driver around you and this travel quote from modern-day philosopher Jimmy Buffett, "You can throw your luggage down, lose your cool and stomp around but there's nothing, nothing you can do."

But seriously 5+ hours? There has got to be a better method, perhaps a sign near the entrance to I-70, even a hand written one that reads "I wouldn't go this way, buddy!" would have been good enough for me.

And finally the photo that killed my phone battery, which also turned out to be much less dramatic than I had hoped it would be:

A Side of Meat, Bitte

For a perfectly traditional Swabian dinner go to Stuttgarter Staeffele, in Stuttgart Germany, that's an order.

They had an amazing appetizer garden salad that came with potatoes hiding under the other vegtables, jackpot! The only thing that kept me from eating all of the salad was the knowledge of what was to come (this was my second glorious visit). Feel free to order the potato cakes with homemade applesauce for an appetizer, the Germans may laugh at you and tell you it's a dessert but if you don't eat it first there is no way you'll be able to at the end of the meal. That's thinking ahead, meine Fruenden.

Do yourself a favor and order the a bit of it all platter (loosely translated). It's gigantic and completely worth it. It's delicious pork, beef, sausage, spaetzle, potatoes and probably more that I can't remember because my mouth is watering and stealing liquid from the area around my brain.

The traditional red wine is served in a short glass mug and is very potent as the people in the car who had to listen to my Enrique Iglesias renditions for thirty minutes would testify to, weeee!


This place is great because the food is face-stuffing good, the place is tiny and feels like an old wine cellar and best of all I walked by the kitchen and who was cooking? A round, old, German lady! That's authenticity!

Touristing it Right, London

Again, I'm a huge fan of kitschy, cheesy, tourist attractions. Here I present my London essentials (not all are cheesy):

1. Tour on the Red Bus.

This is great for your first day in the city so you can get your bearings, see the sights from a distance thus making it much easier to decide where to spend the rest of your time. Parents like it too, see...

2. St. Paul's Cathedral

It's expensive, it's crowded and you can't take pictures inside but a hike to the top of 500+ steps will give you amazing views of the city. Also test out the whispering wall during the first leg of the accent. My brother said it worked but he may have just been humoring me.





3. Harry Potter, nerd points points of interest

Kings Cross Station, where they have actually set up a place for all of us sad people to go to and get photo proof of our nerdom. What place you say? Platform 9 3/4, if you asked you obviously don't know.

A walk across Millennium Bridge, which is very close to St. Paul's, will allow you to get giddy like "my friend" did when you see it get destroyed in the Half-Blood Prince movie.


4. Kew Gardens

A leisurely Underground ride and a short walk from the center of London. This place is a huge botanical gardens with outdoor and indoor gardens, old royal manors and expansive lands. If you've ever imagined yourself a member of Victorian royalty this is the perfect place to daydream (Prince Charming not included). Take some sandwiches and have yourself a picnic or go late for their summer concert series.

English Food isn't bad...

just expensive and not exactly English.

Exhibit A:
Cote Bistro, French









Grilled Artichoke

Roast Duck Breast with Gratin Potatoes



We found this place just wandering around starving and such. What a happy surprise. The artichoke was on the specials menu and the duck is on the regular menu. Both were exceptional, as were the two bottles of wine, don't worry we still found our way back to the hotel. This method of wandering while hungry only worked out this well once, I suggest other methods of finding food. We went the to location in Kensington but luckily it is a London chain and has many locations throughout and outside of the city.

Exhibit B:
Ping Pong, Dim Sum

I have never had dim sum before, at all, so I don't have a point of comparison but I thought it was really delicious. I have, however, had a few cocktails before and can say quite confidently that their drinks were like nothing I've ever had before. The first was the Lemongrass and Lime made with Finlandia vodka, fresh lemongrass, lime and lychee juice, really tasty. The other drink that we attempted is called a Tennessee Tea Tingle the description for this reads "Jack Daniels, Cointreau and lemon juice topped up with Pepsi. Enjoy the electric feeling from the Sechuan buds!!!" Let me tell you, while the Whiskey may come from Tennessee I'm not sure the Sechuan buds would be legal there. After chomping one down and having my mouth tingle, burn then go numb we asked the waitress about these "Sechuan buds." The only information she had was that they come from Amsterdam, enough said. That's my younger brother up there, double fisting like a champ.

We ordered a lot of Dim Sum the list is: chicken puff, spinach and mushroom dumpling, spinach and prawn wrap, chicken and cashew nut dumpling, vegetable bun, chicken and black pepper spring roll, lemon chicken, honey glazed ribs, and crispy asparagus. I must say, I did crinkle my nose at the steamed vegetable bun but I take it back it was great, I recommend it, that's right, I just recommended something with vegetables.

Ping Pong, like Cote, has numerous locations, making these eateries easy to fit into your sightseeing schedule.

Big Burgers by Jim.

In my treasured tradition of eating things as big as my head, I give you, Jim's Burger Haven.


Needless to say, the Large Burger is, in fact quite large. It tastes good, nothing terribly special. The fries also good. The onion rings were tasty and perfectly crunchy, I'd pick them over the fries. I also had a chocolate shake. Because I have a weakness for BK Milkshakes I sometimes forget that *real* milkshakes don't just taste like melted soft serve. Jim's Milkshakes are the real deal. Actually I'm quite sure the entire place is the real deal.

Not to brag...

...but I'm kind of a badass.

A piece of Durian, right before I ate it, swallowed it and ate more.




A video of Andrew Zimmern spitting Durian out.

Let there be Orange-colored Sauce

17th Ave in the Uptown area of Denver offers many a tasty restaurant. In the event that you, like Zach and I did, wander down the street looking for something other than the usual haunts wander a long way down (yes as hard as it may be to pass Pasquini's). Then you too can have something along the lines of this...

Seco de cordero:
Lamb Stew with Rice

Atun con tacu tacu y aguaymanto:
Ahi Tuna with Lentil cake (and orange-colored sauce of the Gods)


Plato de Crema Quemada:
Flavors: Mocha, Mojito and some fruit we couldn't remember and coconut.

All this can be had at the Peruvian-fusion restaurant: Limon, 1618 E 17th Ave, Denver.

Zach liked his Lamb Stew but thought the rice was a little off. I ate a lot of the onions out of his stew and thought they were quite lovely. My Ahi (you know it's mine because of my awesome dining out attire of a Beatles' hoodie) was really good. Zach thought he didn't like fish and he even liked my Ahi, hopefully this will be a culinary turning point for him. It may have been the magic orange sauce that came with it. Not that it's the case here but I think that sauce could make almost anything (food and perhaps a twig) taste delightful. The lentil cake-thing also pleased me a great deal. Now I really don't want lentils in a different format ever again .

If our entrees look a bit small to you, that's because they are. Limon offers a half-sized option on most of their entrees. Good if you, like we, haven't quite reached baller status or would rather save room for dessert.

The presence of a dessert here is a special occurrence. I very rarely order a dessert. I think the combination of lower priced and mouthwatering entrees, Zach the splurger and ONE wicked strong Sangria (can we say cheap date?) all combined to make that Creme Brulee appear in front of me. My personal favorite was the mystery fruit and coconut and I don't even like coconut. It was terribly interesting a bit like an adventure for the mouth. The first taste is the sweet/burnt of the sugar and fruit followed by a very subtle coconut. I'd say it was downright fun to eat.

My thrill for this restaurant grew as my friend who returned from Peru recently explained to me that the food he ate there with the locals was actually quite bland. Therefore I can only conclude that orange-God sauce was a product of the fusion, thank goodness for food physics.

The Second-Saddest Place on Earth

Detroit might have it nailed down in the "saddest place on Earth" category, but Albuquerque could close in on it if it doesn't watch its back.

I'm in town for a business trip, leaving tomorrow for the happiest place on Earth, Disney World (duh). But for the moment, I'm in the Hyatt business center (Hyatt=very nice rooms, good pool, decor circa 1993), and here I will recount a little tale about my time in Albuquerque, NM.

I got here and thought, "Hey, not so bad!" It was a reaction spurred by not-so-stellar reviews of the city from, well, pretty much everyone who had been here before me. It was warm. It looked like they had some urban renewal projects going on. There were trees by my hotel. There seemed to be things within walking distance. But soon, my hopes were dashed. To summarize:

Biggest Disappointment
Brazilian food at Tucanos. Turns out this is a chain restaurant, not quite what we had in mind. Anyone remember the Mongolian BBQ in Boulder? This place was that place, only with large skewers of meat instead of grills. And a super wierd salad bar that contained things like garlic mashed potatoes juxtaposed with quail eggs and beef stroganoff. Hm. Also, beware of Tucanos if it is your birthday. They will bang lots of congas and sing in something that I must only assume is Brazilian. There were a lot of birthdays that night. However, local beers were on tap and I had an IPA from the local Marble Brewery which was really quite good. And the old Route 66 area is pretty cool - old neon signs and the like, but not somewhere a lady should be alone at night.

Biggest Fun Surprise
There is a HUGE brigade of bicycle-riding policemen in Albuquerque. This didn't make up for the fact that the 7-11 closed at 9 (as opposed to, you know, 11) or that I counted five passed out drunk dudes and a puddle of vomit in the five minutes it took to walk to the 7-11. Remember how I was heartened by the urban renewal? I think they forgot to finish it.

Biggest Historic Sighting
We ate dinner at the Church Street Cafe in Old Town, which is housed in what the menu claims may be the oldest building in Albuquerque (early 1700s!). Very cool little place with a nice patio and tasty sangria. Sadly, not the best Mexican food, particularly if you enjoy things that are spicy, or, for that matter, things that have salt in them. Nice ambiance, though. Old town is also super cute in the tourist way and there's lots of shopping, some of which is wicked cool, like Santisima - seriously one of the most interesting stores I've ever visited; made me wish my suitcase was way bigger and I was way richer.

Biggest Not-Fun Surprise
My dining companions and I were chilling on the corner waiting for the bus when, out of nowhere, a little to-go side order of salsa flew out a car window as the passenger of said car let out a maniacal cackle. Salsa was everywhere, the carnage smelled of jalapeno. I avoided the drive-by salsing but others weren't so lucky. Then we got on a bus that had a big ad across the ceiling that said, simply, "AIDS." I later saw a bus with a similar sign advertising "SYPHILIS". Wtf.

Biggest Delight
Get ready for a shameless plug. Coworker and I lunched at a restaurant owned by two of our (now married) culinary grads called Cafe Green. It's a French breakfast and lunch joint that had the most delicious (and beautiful) chicken salad sandwich I have ever laid eyes on. Crispy French baguette, cranberries, cucumber, walnuts, hard boiled egg, chives, salt and pepper. Simple and delicious; plus it came with a side of truffle fries. Joy! The menu rotates seasonally based on what is fresh and local. If you ever find yourself here, get there sometime before 2 p.m. and eat well.

Not so free donuts.

As if there was a choice, we went and got free donuts on June 5.

Unfortunately, at the Winchell's on south Broadway, there were no donuts to be had. So we bought 2, and got 2 for free.

Here's Kristen woofing hers down. She later complained of being feverish from the two-donut combo.

Sorry, Kristen. I had to.

(EDIT: So later on, I get a tweet from Kristen saying that there were two pictures taken that night. I forgot ... and my form, as she remarked, is much better than hers, which she should be proud of. A lady eats donuts with a certain daintiness that a man just doesn't have...I didn't so much eat them as attack them, putting fear in their mother's heart that I would do the same to their siblings, donuts holes.)

Fast Times

So yeah, we went to some nice restaurants in Vegas (see accidental awesome wine post).

But we also see Vegas as another kind of food Mecca. It is where the best fast food in the world lives. Fast food worth paying for cabs; fast food worth braving the heat; fast food that will change your life.

Or at least it will if you live in Colorado and don't have regular access to In 'n' Out and Nathan's.

The Happiest Hamburger in the World.

There are a few things that make In 'n' Out's food pretty awesome. Most important: Everything is fresh. Crispy lettuce, thick tomatoes and onions, fresh cut fries.

Buns are toasted.

Special sauce is present.

You can get like 5 hamburger patties on a burger if you want, I think.

Also: don't miss the milkshakes.

And if you're a huge burger dork, you can unearth In 'n' Out's secret menu. I personally stick to the basics...it's kind of not worth trying to make it better.

In true Vegas style, In 'n' Out Las Vegas is graced with a giant neon sign, so it'snot hard to find. But remember: even though it looks like it's close to the Tropicana, it's really not. Take a cab. Seriously. Food will only be like $5. Don't kill yourself walking there.

Hot Dog Heaven, and Maybe the Best Fries Ever.

Oh, Nathan's. Yeah, you can buy Nathan's hot dogs in the store. Or at Heidi's deli. Or whatever.

But they won't be made to order, and they won't come with amazing crinkle cut fries.

Nathan's hot dogs might be the only reason I would ever move to New York. They are traditional style, with natural casings (that little "pop" when you bite in will tell you if there are natural casings, btw). They don't get overpowered by condiments (important, because I eat mostly so I can put condiments on things).

But, most importantly, there are fries.

Kristen and I tried to think of fries we liked better. We couldn't. And that's quite a feat. They are thick cut, but not mushy or too stachy. They are soft inside with perfect crispness quotient outside. They come with a teeny-tiny fork to eat them with. They are perfection.

Also! Best tip we discovered in Vegas: If you catch it on the right day, the Coney Island area of the New York New York has a special: buy fries and a drink, and your hot dog is free. Yes, please.

To Do Friday Night in Denver!

Begin Shameless plug:

My friends Zach Clark and Brandon Proff are showing their art this Friday in Denver.

Information:

Date:	Friday, June 5, 2009
Time:	6:00pm - 10:00pm
Location:	LEGWORK (2nd floor of the Figherfighters association building)
Street:	2342 Broadway St.
City/Town:	Denver, CO

Link to Click for more Information.

The best news? There will be beer! Free Beer!